So I’ve noticed something a little surprising in recent months. While watching news reports about various criminals their images are flashed on the screen and their FACES ARE HEAVILY TATTOOED!
If I were to choose a life of crime it seems like it would be beneficial to look ordinary. For example, I suspect that if Shawn Bradley started knocking over banks as a part-time gig he would be caught in short order.
“Can you describe the suspect?”
“Yes. He was well over seven feet tall, he was wearing a ‘Quest for Perfection’ T-shirt and he spoke with a Carbon County accent.”
Next comes the question we all know from every police drama we’ve ever watched on television:
“Did he have any distinguishing marks or tattoos?”
As a result, it stands to reason that someone who chooses a life of crime should avoid turning his body into a visible form of identification. It might be possible to cover up a small ink butterfly on a shoulder, but a face marked by graffiti is tough to hide.
My guess is that the police actually love this scenario. Short of the old striped chain gang prison attire, nothing shouts “Look at me, I’m a bad guy,” quite as much. Faces full of ink undoubtedly make the jobs of law enforcement officials much easier.
Some things are just common sense:
- When hiking in bear country, don’t use bacon scented deodorant.
- Don’t swim in shark infested waters if you have a bloody nose.
- Avoid eating beans for lunch if you have an important business meeting later in the day.
- If you are going to be a fugitive, don’t tattoo your face.